Turning something that could be ugly into something beautiful and inspiring 🌈

Everything that you've been through, everything that you're going through doesn't make your life uglier although it may seem that way when we're going through it.

It's up to us to choose to paint or struggle with gold and make it beautiful.

You can pick yourself up and learn from past to be a better person because of the struggles that you've been through.

You can wear your scars proudly as a badge of honor as if to say ' look at what I've been through, it made me who I am today and I can get through anything that life put in front of me now '

Remember !
Nobody has had a perfect life and nobody ever will.

Don't be ashamed of what happened to you. Everything that happened has happened to you for reasons. Don't get stuck on how things used to be.

Every next level of your life will demand a new you and sometimes it takes you to be broken in order to become the new version of you.

Hey Crush ! ( day - 233 )

I just really like your smile and just the way you are.

Ps : I'm writing this not to freak you out or gotta judge me as cringe. It's just for the first time in life ( means in the my age of teenager ) for me having such persistence feelings toward one human being 

Strange 💡

I feel guilty when I'm being weird around that person 😌

I don't want to admit that I enjoyed talking to .....

I just don't want to get so happy because I don't want to weird that person out.

Living in Fairytale for the first time in my life 😱

Fairy God mother
The charmings
Fairy God father

And am I the Cinderella?  😳

Mom wanted to surprise me 💯😮😮

Allahuakbar. Mommy was not replying my texts and I get pathetic. So I called her just now to know what's happening. She answered my call and she told me that she had discharged from HUSM kubang kerian already and she'll return home by tomorrow. I'm very shocked 😮😮😮

Sungguh adventurous mommy kali ni 😮 I'm speechless 😰😰

Day 9 without mom

Mom supposed to discharge today. But nah, she's not allowed to go home due to her blister 😌

We go all the way from Kuala Terengganu to fetch her. I was very excited. But its tu turned out like this... We returned home and didn't go kota bharu as our plan 😪😪

Depression 🌧

As people know, I've been experienced a long term depression before until I didn't come to school for 8 to 9 months. I missed so many classes from form 1 to form 2.

I was beaten down until I though that I will never rose up and shine. I was 'buried up' alive

I don't know 🌧

People keep asking me
" why are you always so sad?  "

I don't know how to explain it in a norm. It's a disease. I can't explain myself and nobody's understand me. I keep praying. I keep feeling suffocated like it's really killing my soul.

I'm afraid to be happy 😭 happiness doesn't last long.

Without mom around

Its been a week. Mom is not here. I admit that I'm a clingy baby. I feel empty without her

Mom is leaving

Its lonely here. I'm home alone.

And I'm talking to my cat, tambey 🐱
My tears drop 🌧

Ya Allah kau jagalah orang orang yang aku sayangi. Peliharalah mereka. Semoga mereka sentiasa terhindar daripada segala keburukan dan kehancuran iman. Ya Allah kau tenangkanlah hati hambaMu ini. Sesungguhnya aku kecewa ya Allah.
Aku sakit ya Allah. Hidupku penuh berliku. Aku tak lahir dalam keluarga yang berada. Aku tak lahir macam dalam keluarga kawan2 yang lain. Orang yang sayang aku ramai yang telah pergi menghadapMu. Aku sunyi ya Allah. Aku lemah. Beri aku kekuatan ya Allah. Aku nak ubah masa depan keluarga kami. Kau teguhkanlah pendirianku ya Allah. Bantulah hambaMu yang kerdil ini. Ampuni aku ya Allah. Ampunikanlah dosa dosa keluarga kaum kerabat, jiran tetangga, rakan rakan dan guru guru ku ya Allah. Ampunkanlah Kami ya Allah. Semoga kami kuat dalam menghadapi semua suratan takdir Mu. Aamiin

Ya Allah yang maha pemurah lagi maha mengasihani, kau berikanlah kesihatan yg baik kepada kami. Kau berikanlah  kesembuhan dan syifa kepada ibu ku.
Kau berikanlah kebahgiaan untuk kami di dunia dan di akhirat. Aamiin

Note to self

- Smart mind. Heavy heart. No soul

- It's okay. Let it rain though your eyes,  there's no other way for you to find a rainbow 🌈

- You fall. You rise. You win

To find sunshine in the rain ☔

I know that it is hard, to find sunshine in the rain

To find strength when you are weak,
to fight when you are drained

From the bottom of my heart

Sejak bulan 10 tahun 2017 sampai ke bulan 2 tahun 2018 mommy setiap bulan masuk wad.

And it's actually affect my study. I feel bad and depressed but I never show her how hurt it is for me. Seeing her scream in pain and watching her bleed. Listen to her pain makes me dying inside. I love you so much mom, I can't lose you :")

Stranger

Unwelcome and unexpectedly.

Women's Pride

•u shouldn't have to beg someone to love u •u shouldn't have to beg someone to care •u shouldn't have to beg someone to try • u shouldn't have to beg someone to talk to u •u shouldn't have to beg someone to put u first if they wanted to, they simply would

My teenage 's life? 🤔

1 . I never date any guy although I feel like I want to

( hati kata lain,  otak kata lain. So yes you won brain)  

  2 . I'm focusing on building my broken dreams 

  3 . I don't really make friends. Banyak masa menyendiri ( berkawan tapi kurang rapat )

4 . Kurang berharap dengan orang lain. Everything's on my shoulders.

5 . For 5 years being a high school student, I never grow up ? Jk jk 😂 ( forever feels like a kid. Forever form 1 🙄 That's why pakai serabai je tak reti melawa / being cute 😂 )  

6 . Tak keluar rumah kecuali gi sekolah / tusyen. 😯 ( the fact that hawa is an introvert ) 

7 . Hangout with friends?  Okay yg ni boleh Kira dengan jari 

je setahun berapa kali 🙄

      

Elementary school drives me into memorylane

 here's Firdaus and Naqib ( my talk back partner 🙄 )

 

                Partner in crime 🙈

              Old friends.

               And there's also my old enemy * Ter.                     photo boom * 😂😂